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I Could Live Without You
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By Sheryl Scott

I prayed for change. I prayed for it everyday. I prayed for it for months.
          Nothing changed.

So, I gave up. Clearly, God's will was that things would stay the same.
          Right?

Then I started to ask myself if praying was ever really going to change anything. After all, God already knew what was going to happen.
          Didn't He?

So, for awhile, I stopped praying.

No thanks for the food. He knew I was thankful.

No please keep us safe. He knows if we will be safe or not.

No forgive me for my sins. He can’t help but forgive.

This went on for months. I didn’t talk to God. Hey, He already knew my thoughts before I spoke them.
          Right?

Things started to change.

I became indifferent — to everything. Life was what it was. There was nothing we could do about it.
          C'est la vie.

I became hopeless. When I heard world news, about shootings, war, famine: I thought, oh well, God sees them. He doesn’t need me to talk to Him about it.
          He knows.

I became an ingrate. Life became routine. Things I would have normally been thankful for, became expected.
          No big deal.

I became lonely. Without God to talk to, to thank, to question, to lean on:
          I felt alone.

I became scared. What if His plan for me was a bad one? What if He couldn't be trusted?
          I tossed and turned.
          I barely got by.

Then one night, I lay awake, avoiding God's eyes. Ears closed to His whisper. I got out of bed and pulled open my bedroom curtains.

The trees in the backyard glistened and sparkled like a hundred million diamonds. The full moon cast long shadows across the lawn, making my little corner of the world look like a masterpiece painting. Just for me, at that moment. He knew I would look out and see. See Him…see His love.
          It took my breath away.

Then I did something I hadn't done in a long while.           I prayed.

It was short, but sweet.

Thank You. I whispered.

You're welcome. He whispered back.

I knew then and there… change would come.

I would change how I saw things. I would be more grateful, more joyful. Peace would be a big part of my life. Fear would be shoved aside and hope would enter.

I would talk to my Maker any chance I got.

I would open my dull eyes and see Him everywhere. I would come back to life.

          I would pray.

          "I could live without You.
          I know I could get by.
          Millions of people do.
          Why couldn't I?

          But why should I merely survive?
          Content with just being alive?" - Rich Mullins